That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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