He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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