Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
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