if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
