I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
