One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just high enough for therapy.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
