Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
