your parents love me but you hate me
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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