Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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