...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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