That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
