seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Randomize
