How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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