Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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