How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
try to milk me bitch
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