Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
