ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
