I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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