I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
