Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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