Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
