You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
