She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
