is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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