What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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