just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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