Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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