Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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