I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Randomize
