We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
