The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
