so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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