Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
