I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
the condom got lost in my hair
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
