I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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