At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
