I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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