HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
jump out the window naked night went bad
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
