you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
