You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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