Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
