Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You did what with his pubic hair?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
