i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
