Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
