the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
