You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
