Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
