Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
