i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
