What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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