I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
