All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize