So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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