can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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