Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
