I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
