I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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