So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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